Season 1
Megan and Dom Benninger: Cancelling the Culture of Silence
Aug. 12, 2020
On today's episode of Survivor Sanctuary we're chatting with Dom and Megan Benninger, the founders of BaptistAccountability.org, about their journey into advocacy for the vulnerable in churches. When they learned that a conv…
Exposing An Abuser: How Do You Know If You've Done Enough?
July 29, 2020
You've found your voice and reported your abuser. So why is there a niggling feeling in the back of your head that your work isn't done? On episode 42 of the podcast, we'll chat about the instinct to protect that drives many…
Confronting Your Abuser: Expectation vs. Reality
July 15, 2020
Maybe you've thought about it a million times--the exact words you would say to the person who abused you. Maybe you've written them out, word for word, or rehearsed them in front of a mirror. While the opportunity to actual…
10 Reasons It's Totally Worth it to Heal from Sexual Abuse
June 10, 2020
I don't want to talk about my feelings. I don't want to think about what happened. I just want to leave the past in the past. There are so many reasons we rationalize our choice to bury the trauma of sexual abuse. What is fa…
Why Survivors Struggle to Ask for Help
May 28, 2020
Asking for help can be tough no matter what your life experiences. For survivors of sexual abuse, though, there can be a tendency to see "help" as a four-letter word (which, incidentally, it actually is. :). On this episode …
Trauma and Healing Aren't One-Size-Fits-All
May 20, 2020
Why is it that some people seem to be crushed by sexual abuse, and others seem to bounce back resiliently? Why do some survivors struggle in ways that others don't? On this episode of Survivor Sanctuary, we're chatting about…
Hope for Survivors of Sexual Abuse
April 29, 2020
Every day, survivors of sexual abuse are faced with realities that can leave them burdened by the weight of abuse. The news is full of stories of abusers evading justice, our facebook feeds are flooded with triggers and igno…
Let Me Prey Upon You: An Interview With Sandy Phillips Kirkham
March 19, 2020
On this episode of Survivor Sanctuary, I have the privilege of speaking with Sandy Phillips Kirkham, a survivor of clergy sexual abuse who has written a book about her experience. Sandy's story is heartbreaking, yet hopeful,…
Always (Standing Up for the) Broken: A Chat With Erik Pederson, Part II
March 11, 2020
On today’s episode of Survivor Sanctuary, we finish chatting with our awesome Aussie friend, Erik Pederson. In addition to suffering abuse as a child and young adult, Erik experienced spiritual abuse by leadership of a churc…
Always Broken: A Chat with Erik Pederson
March 4, 2020
Erik Pederson is our guest on today’s episode of Survivor Sanctuary, so fasten your seatbelts! Erik is an Awesome Aussie who podcasts Down Under, and speaks out against sexual abuse on the regular. He’s also hands down the m…
Entering the Struggle: The Courage to Face The Pain of Your Past
Feb. 20, 2020
Many of us have been told our whole lives that it is best to leave the past in the past—but what if truly healing from our past requires us to engage it rather than escape it? Today’s episode is for anyone, abuse victim or o…
Love Always Protects: Rachel's Story
Feb. 12, 2020
On today's episode, I have the privilege of sharing the story of one of our Survivor Sanctuary listeners. Rachel began to be sexually abused within the walls of her church as a very vulnerable young woman, and her repeated c…
How to Apologize to Your Sexual Abuser and Other Important Lessons I Learned in Christian College
Feb. 5, 2020
You know how people say your college years are the best of your life? Yeah, those people didn't go to college where I did. A recent podcast featuring Title IX expert Laura Dunn had me all kinds of triggered this past week, a…
How to be a Hero to Survivors of Sexual Abuse (Cape Optional)
Jan. 29, 2020
On today’s episode of Survivor Sanctuary, we’re chatting about loss, legacy, and what it takes to be a hero in the life of a survivor of sexual abuse. Links: Don Blackwell on Twitter --- Send in a voice message: https://an…
What A Sweaty Keanu Reeves Taught Me About Banishing Sexual Abuse “Survivor Guilt”
Jan. 22, 2020
When it comes to feelings of guilt, sexual abuse is the gift that keeps on giving. Just when you think you’ve made progress in letting go of the deep rooted self-blame, a fun *new* guilt emerges. On this episode of Survivor …
Interview with a Whistle-Blower: Meet Nicole Saylor
Jan. 15, 2020
On today’s episode we’re chatting with Nicole Saylor, a whistle-blower in the church and an advocate for the sexually abused. Nicole did not experience sexual abuse herself, and she didn’t seek out an opportunity to blow the…
Survivor Resolutions for 2020
Jan. 1, 2020
It’s a brand new year, and as the rest of the world resolves to eat more kale and do more crossfit, New Years goals may look a little different for survivors of childhood sexual abuse. Today I’m sharing three of my #survivol…
The Best Gift You Can Give Yourself This Christmas
Dec. 18, 2019
Holidays can be rough. For survivors of abuse, they can be brutal. In this episode, find out what each survivor can gift themselves this Christmas to get through the holiday in peace. --- Send in a voice message: https://a…
My Heart Is Broken And So Is My Attachment Style (The Number One Reason I Despise Sexual Abuse)
Dec. 11, 2019
I won't sugar coat this: I am a wreck right now. In fact, I'm more of a wreck than I can remember ever being (and there's been plenty of wreckage, I assure you). In my grieving, I am once again facing the number one reason I…
The Effect of “Look-Back Windows” on Church Sexual Abuse
Dec. 4, 2019
Over the last several years, 15 states have changed laws to extend the statute of limitations on the filing of sexual abuse lawsuits. Eight of those states have implemented “look-back windows” for survivors who were time-bar…
Name that Abuser! (Why Private Repentance is Not Enough)
Nov. 27, 2019
Isn’t it enough that an abuser has repented? Is it *truly* necessary to publicly name perpetrators? The answer really depends on who you ask. But if you ask a survivor of sexual abuse, most of us understand the importance of…
So the Child Molester Says He's Sorry... Now What?
Nov. 20, 2019
Can we take at face value the word of a person who has sexually abused a child? What if he/she claims to be sorry? What if he/she cries? On this episode of Survivor Sanctuary we'll chat about the Church's True Repentance Lie…
When Churches Respond Poorly to Abuse: An Interview with Katie Trout (Part 2)
Nov. 13, 2019
On today's episode of Survivor Sanctuary, we'll hear the second half of my interview with survivor and advocate Katie Trout who shares more of her story of experiencing abuse at the hands of a megachurch staff member. Found …
When Churches Respond Poorly to Abuse: An Interview with Katie Trout (Part 1)
Nov. 6, 2019
On today's episode of Survivor Sanctuary, I'm chatting with survivor and advocate Katie Trout who shares her story of experiencing abuse at the hands of a megachurch staff member. When Katie bravely came forward about the ab…
You Can't Serve God and Insurance Policies (Why the Church Sucks at Responding to Sexual Abuse)
Oct. 30, 2019
What is it about sexual abuse allegations that makes the Church respond so much differently than they do to other crises and tragedies? Matthew 6:24 probably holds the most accurate answer, and in this episode, Kelly unpacks…
A Tale of Two Felonies: How NOT to Handle a Sex Abuse Scandal in the Church
Oct. 23, 2019
On today's podcast I'm sharing a personal experience with a church that dealt publicly with two local crime news stories involving members of their church--one as I was coming into the church, and one when I was walking out.…
Sexual Abuse and the Struggle with Self-Blame
Oct. 16, 2019
Episode 10 of the podcast is inspired by a discussion on the Survivor Sanctuary Facebook Group (you should def join)! Why do so many survivors blame themselves for their abuse? And why is it so hard to combat the self-blame …
Sexual Abuse Is A Big Fat Liar
Oct. 9, 2019
When a person goes through the trauma of sexual abuse, there are negative messages--lies--that can become ingrained in them as a result. One of the universal struggles of sexual abuse survivors is feeling unworthy. Whether w…
Should Sexual Abusers Be Spiritual Leaders?
Oct. 2, 2019
It seems like a no-brainer: men and women who sexually abuse children should never be in church leadership. Yet over and over again we are seeing stories of sexual abusers returning to ministry and receiving the full support…
Handling Your Story of Abuse With Care
Sept. 25, 2019
When a sexual abuse survivor finds their voice and begins to share their story of abuse, what they need more than anything are empathetic listeners and supporters who will handle their story with tenderness and care, recogni…
The Choice to Speak Out About Sexual Abuse
Sept. 18, 2019
Many survivors of sexual abuse keep their stories hidden away for years. But as they begin to heal and find their voice, each survivor will be faced with a choice: to speak out or not to speak out. There is no right or wrong…
STOP Telling People to Move On: How to Support Survivors of Sexual Abuse
Sept. 11, 2019
Have you ever found yourself at a loss for words when you’ve been trusted with a story of someone’s deepest hurt? Or worse, have you been tempted to respond by blurting out an inspirational quote you once saw on a Facebook m…
A Chat with Ashley Easter, Creator of The Courage Conference
Sept. 4, 2019
On today's episode, Kelly chats with the awesome (and possibly superhuman) Ashley Easter, an outspoken advocate, writer, speaker, coach and conference creator. Ashley shares her story and how it led her to be an influential …
Snot On My Bedspread: The Accidental Way I Began to Heal from Childhood Sexual Abuse
Aug. 28, 2019
They say the first step toward recovery is admitting you have a problem. But what if you're completely clueless that a problem is even there? That was me, years back, the night that a snot-smeared bedspread led me to take th…
When a Predator Becomes a Pastor - Interview with Kelly M. Haines
Aug. 21, 2019
Today I'm joined on the podcast by Kelly Haines, survivor of sexual abuse by her Christian school teacher beginning at age 14. After serving time in prison for his sexual abuse of Kelly, John Longaker now serves as senior pa…
Survivor Sanctuary 101
Aug. 14, 2019
It's our inaugural episode! On today's podcast, you'll get to know Kelly and some of her story, and you'll also hear how Oprah and stroke survivors have a lot to teach the church about being safe sanctuaries for survivors of…
Minisode #1 - Survivor Sanctuary Launches 8-14-2019
Aug. 1, 2019
Survivor Sanctuary is coming SOON! On August 14th, Survivor Sanctuary will officially launch, and you're invited to join host Kelly Downing through navigating the road to healing from sexual abuse, and challenging the church…